Why Do I Have to Nag my Child: The Importance of Executive Functioning
Why do I have to nag my child so much!? Why can’t they just get dressed in the morning? Why do they always forget their homework?
As a parent, I completely understand this feeling! Now that summer break is in full swing, many of us have much happier mornings where we do not have to nag, remind, and direct our children about what they need to get done in the morning before school. But, come August….
Imagine. You get up in the morning and say to your child “it is time to get up and get ready for school.” What happens next? For some, your child will get out of bed, probably groggy and tired, after about 20-minutes and 20 reminders. From there on all bets are off. Will your child get themselves dressed? How many times will you have to remind them to grab their shoes? Their backpack? “Do you have your homework assignments for today?” “Did you take you vitamins?” “Your medicine?” “Did you remember to put on underwear?” (Yes, this actually happens to some).
If you feel like you are constantly nagging your child, beyond what is typical for their age and developmental level, your child may be having difficulty with Executive Functioning Skills. But what are these skills and why are they so important?
Executive Functioning Skills are higher level cognitive skills, which are generally controlled by the frontal lobe of our brain. These skills encompass a variety of abilities including the following:
· Shifting focus or transitioning smoothly from one task to another. For example, children who have difficulty shifting may become upset when unexpected changes occur and may appear “inflexible” in their schedules and routines.
· Getting started on a task without reminders or prompting. For example, many children may sit in front of their homework as if waiting for it to magically complete itself. In reality, they may be having difficulty getting started on their homework or knowing how and where to start.
· Remembering all the steps and requirements for successful completion of a task. For example, a child with Working Memory problems may skip portions of assignments or forget to complete important steps of a task (such as forgetting their under ware when getting dressed).
· Organizing and using materials effectively to complete a task. Children with difficulty planning and organizing may have messy rooms, lockers, and backpacks. They may have difficulty organizing their papers at school, resulting in lost homework or incomplete grades at school.
· Monitoring behavior and regulating emotions. Children who have difficulty with regulating their emotions may have bigger responses to smaller problems than other children. They may react quickly to a situation and then feel remorseful and confused about their response later. They may have tantrums that are excessive for their age or outbursts of anger and frustration that feel out of control.
· Self-Monitoring skills include the ability to recognize what those around us are doing and monitor our behaviors accordingly. Children who have difficulty with self-monitoring may find making and keeping friends is difficult as they often “stand out” or appear “awkward” in social situations.
So, if you find yourself nagging your child about getting ready in the morning or are frequently redirecting them to get their morning routine done before school, you may be seeing Executive functioning challenges. These skills are extremely important for success in school, daily life, and future career success.
Occupational Therapists are trained professionals that can help your child to build executive functioning skills in order to improve their success across the lifespan (an also help you nag your child less!). The results? A child who can accomplish tasks without needing you to direct them for each step!
Interested in Occupational Therapy Services? Reach out to us at Children in Motion, LLC. to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation to see if we can help your child, so you can stop nagging!
